As many of you know, I did not have the best relationship with my father. He was hardly ever there and not very supportive. I remember many times  waiting at the door for him to come, only to find out he wasn’t. This caused a lot of hurt in my life. I was very angry at my father and hurt. I felt abandoned by him. I remember thinking as a young child, what was wrong with me and my mother that he left us. Was I not good enough to love? This caused a strain on my relationship with Father God. I always had a hard time addressing God as father. I had a hard time with just the word father. As I got older I really came to a place where I really didn’t think of God as a father. I knew this on an intellectual bases because the scripture told me so but, I never addressed him as father in my personal prayer time or everyday life. It was just too painful. I couldn’t understand a father’s love because I never truly knew a fathers love. I always felt it was something I had to earn. That if I do this for God or join this ministry, that will make God proud. Again, I knew in my head that this was faulty thinking and I would have never admitted it out loud, but, that was the pain that was in my heart. I had tried many times to forgive my father and let go of the anger but, it always seemed to be an uphill battle. This past September, I had an inner healing session with connectup. I was finally able to let go of the anger but, I still hadn’t walked completely in forgiveness. This past week at GSSM, Leif Hetland came to speak on sonship. I sat there still pained but, slowly my pain began to ease. At the end of the first teaching, he came around and was kissing people on the cheek and people were getting touched by Holy Spirit. He came to me rubbed my cheek and then kissed it. BAM! I got knocked down to the floor. I immediately started to cry and then tremble.All I could hear was the father saying ” I love you” over and over again. I then started to sweat from the heat coming over me. He was filling me with his love. I eventually got up off the floor and Leif came running over to me hugged me and said ” You are so full of His love”. I truly felt different and for the first time in my life realized that I was a daughter.It  didn’t matter what I did, what ministry I joined or what my past was, He loved me as a father. It was later on in the week that I was fully able to forgive my father, I had a vision of my father standing in front of me. Then Jesus came over and stood in front of me. At first I thought he pushed my father out of the way, it was then I realized my father was inside Jesus. I looked at Jesus and was looking at my father literally through his eyes. I was finally able to fully walk in forgiveness and began to weep.  A  few days later I had another vision, that I’ve been serving Father God at a table with this glorious feast in front of him. He had an empty chair next to him and kept asking me to come, sit and eat. It was as if I didn’t hear him and just kept serving and bringing out food. Finally, I sat down and was able to fellowship with him and hear from his heart. I’ve been serving him all my life and all he wanted was to sit and have a meal with his daughter. I realized in these last few days that what really happen that first day with Leif, is he gave me the heart of daughter. His heart towards me never changed. He always was there waiting for his daughter to run onto his arms. He was always there, his heart breaking with mine through all the pain. Now, I can sit and have meal with my Father God  and feel his love anytime I want. All I needed was the heart of a daughter.